Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
He kissed a someone with a penis
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
