so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
