no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
