Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize