no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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