I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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