i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
