fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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