im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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