If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
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