I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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