So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
