dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
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