this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
