So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Randomize
