worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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