was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
