i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize