Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i out mim tonsoeep
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