Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
