Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
