just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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