There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
