just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
