dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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