Your tits are I can't wait for
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize