Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
