Bisexual people are plain selfish.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
my being single is dangerous.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
