Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
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