Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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