you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
