"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
