So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
