May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
