I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
