do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize