Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
