brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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