You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
