he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I need water and some morals
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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