wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
