this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
