In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
