Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Randomize