My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
