his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
This is my life. Enjoy the view
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
