We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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