so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She tied me up with her honor cords...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
