Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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