Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I have demons in me.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
