Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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