i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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