I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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