can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
