Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
