ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
