ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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