I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He passed out mid-signature
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
