you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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