Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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