I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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