Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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