Barsexuality is the new black.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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