A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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