addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
