you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
