The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
