i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
