i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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