dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
