i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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