Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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