do herpes really smell.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
