i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
