Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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