I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
