he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
