That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
