So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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