i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It's never too late to be topless.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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