i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize