i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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