so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
as a side note pls kill me
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
